If You're Angry and You Know it..?
I got mad at my youngest son, Arman the other day because he was throwing a tantrum that I simply couldn't handle it. Every parent would be familiar with the stressful situation when your kids want to play and scatter everything on the floor while being too sleepy at the same time. They will be super moody and grumpy like a whiny little brat who wants something yet hates everything. I scolded him by pinching him on his back. He cried for a while and then went to sleep not long after I put him in his cot.
What I didn't notice is that, my action was being observed by my second son, Zarif who seemed like he was busy with his lego project at the moment. Seeing me sitting down and leaving a sigh, he then finally talked to me:
"Mama, kalau mama rasa marah lagi, mama tarik nafas dalam-dalam, lepas tu hembus. Lepas tu buat lagi. Mesti rasa marah mama tu hilang lepas tu." (translated: "Mama, if you ever feel angry again, just take a deep breath and exhale. Then, you do it again. Surely you won't feel angry anymore.")
I was taken aback by his advice. At the age of eight years old, not only that he could give such words of wisdom that were meaningful, true and wise, but also soothed my temper and touched me so deeply in the heart.
Even though we always think that as parents, we are empowered to guide our kids through everything, we are still imperfect human who have many flaws and vulnerable to make mistakes. Sometimes, we tend to get carried away by our own emotion that we fail to control our own actions and words. We are easily distracted by our hatred and anger, not knowing that the little ones might be watching and learning from us. Often we tell them not to misbehave and be rude to others, but have we, as parents, set good examples to them? Therefore, I thanked Allah for sending me the wisdom of anger management through my own kid's words. I did learn from his advice, and miraculously, I felt calmer by just taking a few breath.
So, if you ever feel angry, remember to breathe in and out. It's a good anger management therapy.
Asking him again, "why you didn't tell me earlier when I was scolding your brother?"
"sebab Mama kan tengah marah masa tu. Nanti Mama rasa lagi marah pula kalau Zarif cakap. Zarif taknak Mama masuk api neraka." (translated: "because you were so angry at that time. Then, you could get angrier if I said so. I don't want to get you into Hell".)
And that's another lesson learnt. :)