It's Called Being a Mom
When I was expecting my second child, I thought our life would be getting tougher...
Financially, we definitely needed to construct new budgets: unnecessary trips and some items in the wish list had to be canceled out. Physically, as a working mother from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. with bundles of housework await, I barely had time for myself to chill out. Mentally, knowing that I would suffer the same pain I'd encountered before had given me an emotional breakdown... almost everyday.
One good point was that raising our eldest son (now is 3 years old) can be considered easy: an obeyer of a single instruction, never give any tantrum in any unexpected condition, and is in his own world when he's occupied with something. Though, there were some moments when I realized that he might not be ready to have a baby brother/sister. He needed mama's lullaby everytime he went to sleep, he wanted mama to supervise his reading and playing sessions, and he was a crybaby only when mama scolded him. And by this, I know that eventually I will face the real challenge of being a mother.. of two. There will be more sleepless nights, stuffs of toys on the floor, dirty laundries and two crying babies, with less time and energy level of handling them.
However,my biggest worry was: "Will I be able to give an equal love to both of my children later?" Knowing that we had showered him with every piece of love in our heart, I know it will be difficult for my eldest son to share his place in our hearts. When I was transferred into the labor room , I remembered how the emotion sank deep in my heart as I heard he pled his grandmother, "Can I go in and see mama? Please, just once..". I was touched as my mother told me that every second he was away from me, he kept asking her, "Where's mama?". I cried when I was thinking about him; sleeping without my lullaby, wandering around the house looking for his mama, and missing me a lot that it gave him heartache. Knowing all these pains, how could he survive the rest of his life with more heartache when someone new has come to share our love?
But somehow, after the baby brother was born, our life has turned out to be amazingly easier...
The first day I was about to introduce the new baby to him, all my worries flew away as I saw his cheerful face welcomed his baby brother with a warm 'Adik Abang' greeting. Starting from that moment, I never see him as my baby boy again. The brotherhood has somehow emerged from inside him, transforming him to a good brother to his baby brother, who is now 5-months old.
My life, that I used to worry about, has turned out to be amazingly easier now.. Financially, we are surprisingly able to cope with our new lifestyle. In fact, even though we have to spend more since the family size is getting bigger, the family budget seems to be under controlled. Hence, it's so true what people used to say, every child brings prosperity to a family (God bless every child). Physically, it's undeniable that my to-do list now is getting longer. But likewise, I am getting used to being a workaholic mother. Of course I sigh and sulk sometimes (that's what you can expect from a mother who works twenty four seven), but mentally, I am more of a happy and joyful mother, now that I have two sons that brighten up my whole days.
So who cares about my sleepless nights, stuffs of toys on the floor, dirty laundries and crying babies?. Being a mother of two while handling those tiny-minies and yet, still be able to enjoy my life, makes me feel like a perfect woman. Do my sons get an equal love from me? Indeed, they do.
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